View Single Post
Old 12-30-2013, 12:41 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,660

Originally Posted by MrsT View Post
Because this is new territory for us all we are kind of just making it up as we go along and doing whatever feels right. We have a lot of communication between all four of us.

So....has anyone ever experienced this kind of relationship dynamic before, and how did it work out for you?

Also, my biggest concern is that in our ignorance for this situation we could do something to risk our 4 way connection or even do something to harm our marriages. What is your advice for newbies? What resources/readings have you found helpful in your journey etc...?

Originally Posted by MrsT View Post
We have known them for 8 months now and spent most weekends together.

I was coincidentally offered an amazing job 10 minutes from their house. They offered us to live with them and we accepted as property prices in the area are high. We are moving in but we're totally open to it being short term until we find our own place...

We have all done a lot of reading and exploring and learning since my first post and yes there are a lot of unknowns but let's see how it goes

Oh yes, we are fully aware that living together is not a requirement of a quad...umm we've kinda been doing it for the past 7-8 months without living together.
OK, I didn't notice that your OP was 2 months old. So, in those 2 months you've gone from being "ignorant newbies" to people who have "done a lot of reading and exploring." Well, good.

So you are fully aware that maintaining a quad style relationship while combining living space, getting used to a new job in a new area, and house hunting (since living in one house might be too close for comfort) will be extremely stressful. You're fully aware that one of the dyads (you and your h, gf and bf's marriage, your relationship with bf, your h's relationship with his gf, your friendship with gf, hubby's friendship with your bf) could go awry once all are in the same house or town, causing the entire relationship structure to shudder and possibly break, and you're willing to take that risk.

Great! Go for it, and good luck. I guess if one of the love or friendship dyads has issues, moving into your own new home is an option as a fallback.

I take it there are no young children who have to move schools and lose friends and explain to anyone why they live with 2 married couples instead of just one?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M
Old Friend, gender fluid
Nick, 35, M (occasional lover)
Reply With Quote