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Old 12-30-2013, 05:32 AM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,468

Gah! C3 cancelled the game event again for tomorrow, well, I guess for today, since it is after midnight at the moment. We had another chat on IM and that went well. He is still full of anxiety and I think I am going to put all hopes with him to rest. I mean, I had pretty much already, but I really can't deal with another guy with anxiety, much less a guy with crazy anxiety. At least M's was fairly manageable. C3 is all over the place with his emotions.

A wrote me today one of the most romantic texts - just describing a moonlit kayak trip he took last night. He set me all a-quiver!

OKC was blowing up for me again today too, lots of good conversations with guys who seem legitimately interested in a relationship. I might have a dinner date for tomorrow night. We will see.

I had plans to maybe go play trivia last night with C2 - not that I wanted to see him, but my other friend. That seemed less and less what I wanted as the time grew closer, so I asked my husband for a date and we and saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Wow, it was a great movie! My husband kept rubbing my arm and kissing me - I have never been more in love! Afterwards we went to grab a quick snack before heading home and we had some good talk about M, and me being poly. He did he is very happy for me to be poly, even though it has failed so far in giving me the peace I am wanting. He is optimistic though, and so am I.

Earlier I listened to some sad music to see if I could get myself to cry, because I feel that until I get the negative emotions out, I won't fully be able to move past M. However, nothing I listened to could seem to make it happen. So, I don't know what to do. I get teary every now and then but then I am right back into my life and I move on with whatever I am doing.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)
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