Thread: Need to vent
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Old 12-29-2013, 06:53 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,854
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I am sorry for your loss. Divorce is not easy and healing from divorce is not easy. You will go through the stage of grief.

If you think you need some support through that process, maybe you could look at a counselor? Or talk to family/friends now that they are closer as you begin to make sense of your experience? Both -- in appropriate ways?

While tempting to blame it on polyshipping in general, or the GF, or your husband, or yourself in anger... be careful.

Anger turned outward inappropriately hurts relationships.
Anger turned inward inappropriately becomes depression.

You could have to find a way to process that anger out without hurting yourself or others. If writing helps you vent -- write then.

You yourself state there were problems in the marriage before and you were not willing to see it for what it was:

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Now granted we were having some issues before but I thought we were doing alot better. Guess I was stupid enough to believe we were ok. Even though he wasn't the nicest to me, I still loved him so much that I didn't care. Not just for me but for our kids.
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Ive asked him what have i done to deserve this.
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he tells me ive done nothing wrong.
You could believe him that you have done nothing wrong.

For a marriage to exist?
  • You must be willing and able to participate.
  • He must be willing and able to participate.

He tells you that you did nothing wrong. To me that sounds like his willingness/ability changed.

Even in a non-polyship, one partner can get to a place where they no longer want to be married.

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Sometimes I just want to lay down and die. I can't stand the heartbreak, the anger that I have.
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So i hide my pain and continue with life.
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I need to come back to reality and realize what I've done. I need to move on. But how??
Please consider talking to a counselor as you work through the stages of grief. Esp if you are talking about wanting to die. That sounds serious. You sound like you need extra support, and professional support may be better for you so you can have privacy.

Let your friends and family support you in appropriate ways -- for example, watching the kids to free you up to go to counseling appointments.

Again I am very sorry. Divorce is not easy.

It simply takes TIME to heal from it and this sounds really fresh for you still. Please take care of you.

Namaste,
Galagirl
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