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Old 12-29-2013, 02:17 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,092

Resources, besides this board, since you asked, are:


The Ethical Slut
Opening Up


Practical Polyamory

I concur with NYCindie. You and your h are in New Relationship Energy phase. You're hormonally a bit craycray and twitterpated right now. I get it's a LDR with your gf and bf, but just how far? An hour drive? You met them swinging so I imagine they are fairly local? How long have you been seeing them? Why on earth must you cohabit when you're so new to poly? Does either couple have young kids? Do they know about this new relationship? Does the couple planning to move have jobs set up in the new area?

If they really are quite far away, and they really want to move, or you and your h do, I'd highly recommend the relocating couple get a rental apartment nearby so hanging out is easy, but you're not all up in each others' business until you have known each other at least a year. Things can go awry and then someone is gonna be homeless. EXTREMELY awkward and painful. What if one of the primary couples split up and yet both are still involved with the other individuals? How on earth do you manage that?

Heck, I dated my gf for 4 years before we moved in together full time. She lived 20 miles away from me and didn't have a car, so I drove 45 mins back and forth to her place every week for 4 damn years. For various reasons we didn't want to take the moving in plunge until then. At the same time, once I met my current bf, he drove 20 miles to my place, once a week for 18 months, to see me as well! Now my gf and I have lived together since May, and we live 5 miles from my bf (who is also involved with my gf to a somewhat lesser degree, more of a FWB), and things are easier, no doubt. But we all waited til we were sure of the longevity potential of our relationships.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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