View Single Post
  #8  
Old 12-29-2013, 12:25 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by spookymulder View Post


since then I have been trying to be very supportive of B. the time that we've spent together since the break up has been a lot of her talking about T: her anger, her sadness and getting things off her chest, crying, and compulsively checking her e-mail for signs of T's coming and going. this has not been easy for me to navigate because I understand, and I want to support her in her time of need. I want to enjoy my time with her and also give her space so that she may deal appropriately. i think i have done a good job at this. but she also asks for my advice, asking me things such as: did T ever love me at all? how could he do this to me? T is an idiot, etc, etc...

...she asked for some space, but for me not to leave, and so I didn't, and i spent the day hearing more and more about their relationship. I became upset and quite exhausted, and she asked what was up, and I told her that it really hurt me sometimes to hear about it all, and that I wanted to support her, but hearing her complain and wrestle with his intentions both currently and in the past was bothering me. I asked if she wanted me to leave, and she said no...
Quote:
Originally Posted by spookymulder View Post
... B has asked for space and a break from our relationship. she felt as if the communication and support that i was trying to put forth was very smothering and gave her added pressure...
Seems like she wasn't sure how much space she needed! Pushing you away with one hand, drawing you back with another. I hope this break will help you to rest and regroup while she gets her shit together.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

A standing prick hath no conscience. --Bill Shakespeare

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 60, poly-dating, and loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 38
Reply With Quote