hmm I recently read an article which I can't seem to find. It was an blog article simply trying to create to labels for poly people. One I believe was Feral and the other I forget (yes I am reaching here, hoping someone else read it and could link to it)
There are those that are passive in their search for love. They wait for it to come by and sweep them off of their feet.
There are those that are active or, I think the term was feral, in how they search for love or connections.
Maybe it is an introvert vs extrovert way of looking at it, maybe not, but I tend to be active. Looking for new people to meet. While I never actively look for a connection per se, I try to put myself out there to as many people as possible to the chances increase of me connecting with people. When I was younger I spent a lot of time NOT interacting with people...I was the odd shaped geeky kid who had a bbs and spent a lot of time playing d&d. Once I started playing football I spent time analyzing the differences in how people interact. I decided then to become extroverted.
Now I suppose the reason I post this is, how do you know if you aren't putting yourself out there? Are you (this is a collective you btw) hoping someone will be more active and come to you? I find leaving things to chance, fate or whatever you want to call it slow and boring. Maybe this deserves its own topic since it is neither a poly question or a question limited to specifically monogamous people