Yes, Mags, agreed, enough is enough.
Prof will get an email cause I am too chicken shit to call or do it in person. I don't want to talk about it.
While I admit I am fairly poor at communicating my feelings, I have been very explicit in asking for what I want and what he can offer. I have been fed a line of bullshit for long enough.
I have been chewing away at the thought that I am too controlling, too many questions, I like clarity, who doesn't?
I like the idea of a polycule or polyfidelity. A fairly closed network. I see others on here do it, it looks appealing.
I have really been wrangling with the question of casual sex. Could I met someone for coffee and be naked with them an hour later? The answer is no.
One part of me says just do it, be open to trying, live a little. The other half says that I don't get turned on physically without the mind being involved too.
I have two kids for whom I am the sole stability and economic provider. I need to be safe for them. I cannot take the risks inherent is recreational sex. Sure I might get hit by a car, but meeting and hooking-up is a choice. While there is no guarantee taking it slowly will be better, at least there time to check the fit, safer sex practices, etc
There has been much talk with Kip. He said he is lining up coffee dates with some expectation of sex. Finally come clean to some degree.
I don't know why I have more patience with him than Prof. Kip said he worries that I will find someone more "substantial" and drop him. So he is keeping options open too. I understand that, or he is feeding me a line.
We made a number of agreements, worked out what we are comfortable with. I am not prepared to drop him yet. I have greatly benefited from the discussions of the past few days. The open communication that I read about on here. I feel like I can still learn from him. From Prof and S I have learned how not do poly/open. It all adds to the knowledge banks. No regrets. A clearer picture of what I want.
One change at a time.
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male, married.
Prof: 50s male.
Last edited by Atlantis; 12-28-2013 at 06:05 PM.