I feel like a total jerk right now.
Me and Hank sleep in different rooms at home, because he's such a light sleeper and has real trouble sleeping next to people. That is really difficult for me because I like sleeping next to a partner, it makes me feel more connected and closer. Sometimes I'm good with sleeping apart for weeks in a row and sometimes I cry myself to sleep several nights in a row because I feel lonely and abandoned. I'm still not used to that even though we've lived together for about 4 months now.
I spent Christmas with Hank and his family at his parents' place. That was really lovely, I genuinely like his parents and they like me. All the other members of his family are really nice too.
So we slept in different rooms at his parents' place too and it was awful. I felt so alone being in a unfamiliar house sleeping without him, at Christmas. Then we spent last night at his friend's place. I had never met this friend before. She put us in the guest room, to the same bed. I was thrilled. For once he has to sleep next to me, he doesn't have a choice! That is so selfish, I know.
I felt like I was starving and someone was offering me a stolen piece of bread; I know it's wrong, but I took it anyway, because I was so hungry.
I asked him this one time to not leave the bed. I asked him to do this for me now, this one time. He could've in theory gone to the sofa, but he said he wouldn't. His arm has been hurting a lot lately and was hurting a lot last night. So he slept even worse than he would have otherwise. He woke up so angry and resentful and I woke up in tears for making him do that for me. We both slept very poorly, he even worse than me. So what did that teach me? If you make people do stuff for you when they really don't want to, it will not be a nice experience for either of you.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Partners: Hank, Dahlia and Fay
Metamours: Eddie (Dahlia's long-term partner), Hy (Dahlia's new partner), Gabriel (Fay's long-term partner), Isaac (Fay's new partner)
Living with Hank, Dahlia, Eddie and rory (my ex/friend)