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Old 12-27-2013, 10:49 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,378

I know, I know. It's killing me. It really is.

M messaged me yesterday and we are spending time together Monday. I am not sure how that will go.

Actually, C3 messaged with me a bunch the other day, and he was very sweet. (I am operating from the standpoint that he is still just wanting to be friends, though he has been liking just about every single status I put up on Facebook and talking with me lots.) He asked me when I would be available next week, and I told him Monday. He had posted some pics from his Christmas trip and I saw a board game that I had been dying to play (Betrayal at the House on the Hill) and I remarked on that, and he set up an event on Monday, once I had let him know my availability, so that we would have enough people to play it while I was there. He invited M. When M and I were talking yesterday, I told him I had intended on going, since it had been set up with me in mind, and that C3 was going to assist with my army creation. Also that I was still planning on attending the tournament next Saturday. I also told him that I did NOT want the next time we saw each other to be at the game store, and that I would stay away if that was the only time he was going to give me next week. Honestly, I would not be able to concentrate on WarMa if he was avoiding contact with me.

This made him tell me that he would skip both events then, because it seemed like I was trying to pin him down to visiting this weekend, which he had already said he was not willing to do. I told him that since the event was starting at noon on Monday, we could see each other prior and that would be fine.

I don't really know if that will be fine. I am happy I know when I will see him again, yes. However, I am still very unsettled since I have zero clue why he is suddenly so strange and distant and weird. I don't feel like I trust him. I don't feel like he is a safe harbor for me. I feel uncertain and very, very confused.

What discussion we did have yesterday was not very effective, in my opinion. He said he loved me, he thought we were great together when we were together, but he wasn't happy how things are when we are apart. He said he was actually relieved when he thought he wouldn't have to see me for two weeks.

I had no idea what the fuck to say to that, since it seems awfully contradictory to me.

So who knows. I also have no clue if Monday is supposed to be an overnight or not. He was evasive in that he didn't mention that, even though I had. I didn't press him. I didn't message him at all today, and he didn't message me either. Well, actually, I did just send him a message, but that was in regards to homeschooling. Usually I would have messaged him a good morning and we would have exchanged our plans for the day and then maybe reconnected in the afternoon. Instead, nothing. It made me really sad.

A messaged me bunches again, and he is now in Florida for his holiday. He said he is looking forward to coming back and seeing me, and shared some difficulties he had within his polycule over the holidays. Tis the season, I suppose.

Oh! And last night I played trivia with the guy who I had been teamed up with as a 2-pack a few weeks back in a tournament. I thought he was kinda sketchy asking me out, since we had talked a lot about poly and he told me his wife would never go for it. But, I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt and just take it as he was trying to be friends. Well, an hour before I had to leave to meet him, he messaged me to say the rest of his team couldn't make it. Riiiiiiight. Lucky me, my friends are all trivia whores and most of them could come. So, I helped him out by coming with 3 friends. He was very appropriate and friendly the entire time. We didn't win, but had fun regardless. He gave me a hug goodbye. My friends thought he was loud and that he had drunk a lot and that he was not very helpful. lol All of these were true. I was glad I have such great friends that I could count on to have my back.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (43M)
Seeing SirGawain (39M)
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