Originally Posted by london
Ok. This makes it clearer. Where is G and baby whilst you're at work? If they are at your home, 5 days a week away from his other partner on top of a work schedule is a lot of time away from his wife and other child. She probably sees that as you choosing for him to do his part of raising the baby when you're not there so if you don't get couple time as a result of that, that is your choice. All three of you know he is extremely stretched and needs to share his resources. If you had childcare, he would have more time to see his kid when you're there and you'd get couple time too
He could also take baby to his other home when you're working
The women could take both babies to allow couple time for others
He stays at my place, but sometimes he will take N to their place or bring L and J with him. I arranged for childcare to help him be at their home 4 days uninterrupted and at our home 3 days uninterrupted.
L couldn't watch N and J because she can barely handle J by herself (often calls G or texts me because he's upset and his crying stresses her out.) I can't watch J because L doesn't like pumping (bought her a really nice pump for date nights and when she goes back to work, but that was a huge waste of money) and doesn't want him to have formula. He's barely past his birth weight and he's 2 months old. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I couldn't make this up.
I have suggested these things and she's put up these obstacles, which is why I have concerns about her behavior. G complains that he doesn't get to see me much, but it's not my fault that he spends half of his visit on the phone. He got really upset with me when I canceled overnights for the foreseeable future because L calls him every time the baby wakes up. I get up at 6:45, so I think that's inconsiderate for her to do and him to allow.