Thanks for the responses!
Yes. We will be using condoms for sex.
GalaGirl- It's true some of the disappointment is in myself. My sexual health IS my responsibility. Don't worry, didn't feel judged by your comment. Also I get tested regularly, and already saw this as a great time to get screened again
I guess I didn't share the details, but Tom and I have been in a relationship for a year and a half. We have had an open relationship for the last 6 months, and the decision to open the relationship was very mutual.
I am most hurt because I really thought this was something I could trust Tom in. I am most hurt with myself because I misjudged trusting Tom. The whole thing is making me second guess how much I trust Tom in and out of the bedroom. And it's making me second guess my ability to judge how much trust to put in Tom.
On the plus side, a few deep breaths and some sleep took the doom and gloom horror emotional explosion edge off
Much more able to sort out my own feelings.