I am very sorry you are upset.
While at least he was honest when asked, he didn't say anything until I asked. He wasn't going to tell me unless I directly asked??
He seems pretty flippant about my safety (and his!). If I hadn't have asked, he would have put his unprotected, possibly diseased, P in my V without saying anything.
Those two seem to be the biggest issues.
My trust from Tom has taken a HUGE hit. Frankly, I feel like I have been “cheated” on.
You have found your trust in Tom was let down. Not just once (lack of condom use) but twice (responsive if you ask, but not forthcoming on his own.)
Here's what you could do at this point in time:
- You could express those feelings to Tom. Or not. Up to you.
- You could continue a relationship with Tom. Or not. Up to you.
- You could use condoms with Tom. Or not. Up to you.
- You could use barriers with ALL partners. Or not. Up to you.
I would strongly suggest the last even if you don't do the others.
When you trust others to do you sex health care for you (ie: condoms used in sex share with other people) that is not YOU doing all YOU can for YOUR sex health care. (ie: condoms used in sex share with ME.)
It gives your power away. And I think maybe part of the disappointment you feel right now is disappointment in you. I mean that kindly -- no judgement or blaming at all. You could be more careful with your sex health going forward -- that's all.
Hope you start to feel better soon emotionally.
Physically... could make the appointments you need to get screened -- hopefully it is nothing but best to get checked out.