We talked some over the holiday. It was good to talk but this is not going to be resolved anytime soon. It may never be 'fixed'. I am realizing I am shit at tolerating situations I do not like. I tend to change the situation or leave it if I am unhappy.
I am not raging as I was. I cannot sustain that level of anger for long. Periodically cranky and feeling withdrawn. I am not sure if that is better. I think Whip understands my issues. He keeps trying to throw out suggestions to make it better. I'm not sure if he gets my rage comes from fear - fear of losing something essential in our relationship, fear that my needs will not get met, fear of having to walk away from this relationship if my needs can't be met. I fear that in general, not just this particular issue.
He did bring up that relationships can't fullfill every need. Which is very true. And I don't expect this one to do that. But I am also very unsure as to how to figure out what needs should be met in this relationship and which ones can't be.
Stupid figuring out adult stuff...