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Old 12-26-2013, 02:48 PM
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Hear that sound?
It's that post-holiday-letdown deflating-balloon sound. Holy crap.

Four days away from P at a stretch, one day "on" (Christmas), and now two days away again, with another four-day stretch away coming up over new year's.

Keeping my eyes on the four-day weekend we have coming up after the new year, because this SUCKS.

Yeah, I know folks spend longer periods apart from their partners, LR especially, and I don't know how you do it. Although I guess one day (and a busy friggin' day at that) to reconnect before they go away again is probably not the way to reconnect after time apart.

I've got the post-holiday-letdown going on, missing P and wanting to reconnect another day on top of that, and my ex was being a complete DB last night (although he was trying to be "helpful"). Wouldn't mind just spending the day in bed, but I've got reviews to write, and since the office is DEAD, it's a good time to come in and do it.

I see P again Sat/Sun, with Saturday being another busy day ("Christmas, parte deux"). Looking forward to sleeping in Sunday.

Oh well.

I'm not doing myself any favors by going back through the calendar to see if we really did swap days fairly, or if I'm "losing" a day (which it seems I have, somehow). I start getting competitive again and pissy about losing a day while I seem to be the only one who cares. And then, I feel petty about it all.

The next four-day block is an even swap - P and I have four days in NYC following that, and it'll be some nice time away. Eyes on the prize, I guess.

I hate to be tit-for-tat, but if the only way to stop feeling like I'm being taken advantage of is to track the swaps a bit better, then I'll start doing that in 2014. Time for me is so damned important, and when I feel the pinch, it really sets off the emotions. At least, if I know what the hell we swapped for, I can point to it and tell myself to quit my bitchin' - that I got <x> days instead. Usually we're pretty good with that, but with all the swapping in October through now, I think we've all lost track.

Oh well... Apologies for the rambling post. For the most part, the days leading up to Christmas, Yule, and then Christmas Day were pretty good. Mom spent time at the house with me and the girls, and outside of one Ambien-fueled incident, I didn't really want to kill her.

(Seriously, Ambien makes you do WEIRD SHIT if you're not already in bed when it kicks in. And she remembered none of it the next day, which made for an interesting chat...)

Still have to get Christmas cards out (I guess they'll be New Year's cards), and I need photo paper to get my pictures printed up. Oh well. If something's gotta slip, there ya go.

So... Busy busy busy few days, a big holiday letdown, calendar issues (and an impending "what does being/having a partner mean to you" conversation with P some time in the future), but a long weekend trip on the horizon. Just gotta hang in there.

Still getting the hang of "doing the holidays" as a divorced parent, too... I'm sure that's part of it all. Finding new traditions and figuring out how it all works.

Ah well... Onward and upward.

Hope everyone here who celebrates had a nice Yule and/or Christmas, and wishing you all a good close to the year. Here's to a good 2014! <clink>
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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