Not too sure how I feel Right now
Hi! Iím new here, and of course I need advice.
I have two partners. Both are aware of each other, but they are not friends and do not spend any time together. Each relationship is very separate. I have had conversations with both partners about safe sex practices and have come to honest agreements with both of them. My problem today involves only one partner, Tom.
Tom and I have agreed to two things 1. Notification of a new sex partner (which is all that is required, ďHey, sleeping with someone new.Ē) 2. Use of condoms outside of our relationship.
So of course when I was on the phone with Tom today, he told me he started sleeping with someone new. She is a FWB heís been very rarely and casually seeing over the past year. This is the first time they've slept together (we both usually like to share/hear details). Tom and I chat some more, he has to go, I hang up. But for some reason I have the urge to text him and ask if he used a condom. Tom says, no, he didn't. He really didn't expect to be sleeping with her, and heís sorry he broke the rule.
So new sex partner for Tom, cool. I've no problems there.
Tomís lack of condom use? Iím ticked. It is something we very mutually agreed to. It directly affects my well being. While at least he was honest when asked, he didn't say anything until I asked. He wasn't going to tell me unless I directly asked?? This is the first time it has come up for us (new sex partners), but Tom has been actively looking for NSA or FWB sex opportunities. And he doesn't have a condom lying around?
Now, obviously if I chose to continue my sexual relationship with Tom, we will be using condoms from here on out.
But right this moment, Iím pretty hurt. People make mistakes and all, but it was an agreement between us. He seems pretty flippant about my safety (and his!). If I hadn't have asked, he would have put his unprotected, possibly diseased, P in my V without saying anything. My trust from Tom has taken a HUGE hit. Frankly, I feel like I have been ďcheatedĒ on.
I just wonder what others thoughts on this might be? If itís happened to someone else and how they felt or dealt. Itís hard to talk to my ďnormalĒ friends about this. They canít seem to get the idea out of their head that Iím having some sort of sexy free for allÖ
Thanks for reading!