Maybe I'm just reading this wrong, but it still sounds to me like the only reason you are doing this is to improve your relationship with her.
What happened to doing it for yourself?
Sorry if I am out of line with this, but trying to be secure just to keep a relationship going is a very very dangerous thing to do when it's not built on a secure foundation.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb