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Old 12-24-2013, 08:37 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,976

Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the situation as it now stands, as I understand it:
  • You and your boyfriend are allowed to have sex.
  • You and the other guy you're interested in are allowed to kiss as long as your girlfriend clears it first.
  • You're allowed to see additional guys? must clear any other new guys through girlfriend first? I'm unclear on this last point.
If any of the above points is unclear on your end, then I would sit down with your girlfriend and get the straight dope. I would also ask her to clarify what she means specifically when she says she's working on it. I'd even ask how long she needs to work on it before you can expect to have one or more of the rules loosened.

You may even have to decide what kind of timeframe you can stand, such as how long can you wait before you get better clarity from your girlfriend, and how long can you wait before she loosens one or more of the rules. If you do decide upon certain cutoff dates, you should probably notify your girlfriend about that. Arriving at a cutoff date with no real progress made means you'd probably need to reassess your relationship with your girlfriend.

I don't think it's fair for you to have to operate under all these rules, but I also recognize that your girlfriend may not be emotionally up to the task of allowing you the type of freedom that you need. This is the type of thing you'd have to reassess. Are the two of you compatible going forward?

Sympathetic regards,
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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