Originally Posted by fuchka
Now he says the sorry he hasn't yet heard from me, the sorry he needs to hear, is a clear "sorry, I did the wrong thing." Taking responsibility for my actions. I'm not exactly sure what that means. The fact I don't know what that means, seems to disturb him. For him, it's a simple thing. To say "yeah, I was drunk, I wasn't thinking clearly, but I did a shitty thing. I fucked up."
I can't just parrot back some words that he says he needs to hear. There's nothing genuine about that...
Agree! You apologized for the unintentional hurt, but you certainly can't apologize just so he can be right. It took my husband and I a great deal of effort and counseling to finally figure out how to START to communicate. We are both good at making assumptions about what the other person understood and we are both usually WRONG. I would suspect that you guys have a great deal of miscommunications and misinterpretations of things said and not said. You may need some extra help in how to communicate with each other. Seriously, I wish I hadn't waited 20+ years to seek help.