I'm going to let rory continue writing about her and Alec (and anything else) when she feels like it and I'll just continue talking about my stuff.
Me and Maxine had our fourth date yesterday. She came to my place, Hank wasn't home so we had the whole apartment to ourselves. We had sex for the first time.
Before that we talked about our feelings and expectations and what is all this that we're doing. And we also talked about sex, which was cool. It was really nice to have all that figured out before doing it. So where we ended up in our conversations was that friends with benefits type of arrangement might be better suited for us, at least for now. I'm just not there emotionally to want to call her a partner/girlfriend, even though I do like her and enjoy her company. She said that she's not in a place in her life right now where she could start a new full-on romantic relationship. So we both agree that FWB fits us better now. Who knows about the future though, but I'm content that we figured out how to best describe our relationship right now.
Hank's intense course is finally over! Wohoo!
A couple of weeks ago we had another heavy talk and let out our negative feelings about time management, him needing his alone time and me needing time from him. I was sad, felt like we can't make this work. But then he was so sweet, so determined and motivated that we're not going to give up. We'll go to couple's counseling if need be or we'll try something else, but we can't just give up like that. I was convinced. A couple of days after that I had this sudden wave of appreciation towards him and it kinda hit me that he's a really good person in so many ways. What was I even thinking saying this might not work out! So I wrote Hank a love letter. I told him all the things I love about him, how he charmed me in the beginning and how I want us to stay together. I thanked him for staying strong when I was in a really bad place. I spent several hours writing it. It was really good to concentrate on the good things. When he read it, he was really touched. He couldn't say anything other than 'thanks' for a long time, he just kept hugging me tightly. It was a sweet moment. <3 When he was able to speak again, we talked about the good things in our relationship and the future that we do want to share with each other.
Right now I feel stable with both rory and Hank. I know I want to be with them. I believe we will make it work. I feel like I know where things are with the people I'm involved with and I like that. I'm happy.