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Old 12-23-2013, 10:01 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Sorry you're feeling grim! You are such an alive, passionate, and vivacious woman (obviously). Is it too much for him to handle at times? In your other thread you linked to, after the first time you were with Lobe, and you flew back to be with Grotto, you wrote:
Originally Posted by fuchka View Post
My god, what a mess. But we're working through it. I'm forgiven, for a few discrete counts of idiocy. Grotto's bruised, will take a while to fully get over it, but things are much, much better. We're solid. Back on the bicycle.
He had forgiven you, made an effort to get past it, but now, six months later, is falling apart over it. When someone is upset about something that happened in the past, it means they are holding on to old hurts and not letting go. Very little will help until that person is willing to free themselves of it. You could apologize to Grotto until you are blue in the face, but he will still feel stuck and uncomfortable until he actively forgives you and is willing to wipe the slate clean. My guess is that something triggered him, or he is unhappy about something going on in his life and looking for someone or something to blame for it. I am not trying to make him out to be an ogre; I'm just saying that he has some inner work to do in order to come to terms with the incident, whether you say you are sorry or not. It seems you have been doing what he asked you to do to make up for your transgression, but he is fixated on hearing those words.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 12-23-2013 at 10:23 AM.
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