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Old 12-23-2013, 09:20 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I don't understand. What happened? You didn't start hooking up with Lobe without Grotto's consent. He's just backtracking, isn't he? It's like a case of "buyer's remorse." For whatever reason, he's become dissatisfied with something, is blaming you, and wants you to make it better. Do neither of you remember this? :
Originally Posted by fuchka View Post
Holy hell.

Grotto loves me so much.

We just chatted online, and he told me he's okay if I see where things go with Lobe.

What he needs:
- reassurance
- for me to move back soon and
- me to take care of him.

All these I can do.


I asked how long he's thought this way (some time) and whether he was sure (yes) and whether he felt pressure from me (no). He said this was coming from a place of love, because he could tell there were feelings involved.

He said he wanted a continued restriction on having casual sex with his friends, but this was an exception.
I wouldn't apologize either, considering that he told you he was okay with it. The discomfort he's feeling is not your responsibility. It's up to him to own up to it and work on it from the inside. An apology from you would only be a temporary Band-Aid anyway.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 12-23-2013 at 09:24 AM.
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