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Old 12-22-2013, 07:09 PM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 669

Originally Posted by bofish View Post
My question: how to relate to boys from a platform of strength .
This is an interesting question. I'd guess that for me, relating to people from a position of strength is about being authentic and clear about who I am.

The things about me that are likely to be challenging to some people are:
  • I won't get married. I have no interest in being anybody's wife.
  • I don't want to have children of my own or help a partner to raise children or hang about with a partner's children.
  • I'm a bit overweight.
  • I have strong views about the need for a lack of hierarchy in my personal and professional relationships. This includes my relationships with my dogs.

These are the things that I would disclose up front very early on in relationships. If I was writing a profile for an on-line dating site, those points would be on it. As well as all the fabulous things about me.

For me, that's a position of strength. I'm happy for the people who would have problems with those things not to be in touch with me. I'm not about to compromise on any of them and I don't want to waste time developing a personal relationship with somebody who might want to get married and have kids one day. Or who might nag me about my eating habits. Or who might try to develop the role of pack leader over my dog, C.

I know that these things make me unattractive to lots of people. That's fine. I can deal with that. That's my position of strength. I don't need everybody to want to be close to me.

I hope that you feel better soon. Sounds like you've had a stressful time and I think illness so often goes along with that. Hopefully some rest and relaxation will sort you out and you'll bounce back soon.

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