What do I want in a relationship?
What do I want in a life partner?
I have a pipe dream of a partner who:
(I'm using "him" for ease, partner could just as easily be any gender)
* Is honest, with himself first and foremost, and to others
* Acknowledges omission of facts can be as damaging to trust as actual lies
* Enjoys and accepts touch and snuggles
* Like to snuggle or be very close during sleep
* Wants to be home to sleep next to me every day there is not an obligation for one of us to be elsewhere.
* Accepts compliments
* Encourages me
* Is intelligent (this can take many forms)
* Equally comfortable with serious or whimsical activities
* Has a sense of Whimsy - Can enjoy gaseous bodily emanations & giggle about them
* Communicates effectively in general, and is willing to work to communicate together effectively
* Can speak, and message, with proper grammar (Smilies OK, but not into text-speak)
* Enjoys conversation (yes, this is different from communication)
* Prefers voice to electronic communication when apart
* Is willing to have a written relationship expectations list, and to regularly review and update it
* Follows through on promises and plans
...or when he cannot - will communicate that change as soon as reasonably possible after he realizes it
* Is not mentally ill, a child abuser, a drunk or drug user
* Is responsible with money (as in does not outspend income)
* Does not work so much that life cannot be enjoyed
* Is not into hanging out at the bar
* Will brush his teeth before kissing me if he has been drinking any beer
* Can enjoy playing a board game now & then (Scrabble anyone?)
* Walks holding hands with me
* Monogamous, but not so much to consider snuggling on the couch with a friend, or platonic former lover, to be cheating
* Believes in fluid bonding/
* Can demonstrate knowledge and application of appropriate safer sex practices (I acknowledge "cheating" can occur in *any* relationship - and knowing those breathes easier)
* Enjoys sexual intimacy regularly, preferably daily or more after that dimension is incorporated into the relationship
* Is great in bed, or at least good and willing for us to learn together how to ramp it up
* Will play my sub now and then, but be my full equal in the relationship
* Encourages me to explore my kinky side, preferably with only him
* Accepts that I am bi-curious and love boobies
* Does not "chase" other relationships, whether sexual nature or otherwise, - especially when I would like more time or attention
* Recognizes that a 24/7/365 glued at the hip relationship is not healthy, and that each needs time on own with friends and activities
* Is excited to share me with their personal and professional friends
* Puts me first, or at least expresses that my needs and opinions are very important when he makes decisions esp major or life-altering decisions.
* Is willing to help keep me on track for breaking my clutter habit (yes, I want someone to gently and constructively nag me)
* Will not sit on his ass playing games or watching TV while I do chores, who will recognize stuff needs to be done and will help without being begged or specifically assigned a task every time it needs to be done.]
* Misses me when we are apart
* Brings me flowers now and then. Or chocolate. I love good chocolate.
* Will offer to brush my hair when I am stressed, or suggest he reads a book to me while I soak in the tub
* Will shower together at least monthly
* Wants and accepts comforting when sick
* Is not a religious, political, health, or sports fanatic, or at least does not push me to be one too, accepts my beliefs as valid as well.
* Can share what irks him about me constructively and works with me to find a resolution that works for both of us
* Does not tell me what I am going to do, even if it is something I want to do (All in how he approaches it, actually. Asking me to do them , or reminding me I said I planned to do them is ok)
* Will travel. Local excursions. Out of state trips. Perhaps out of country some day.
* Enjoys hearing about my day and even though his eyes may glaze over, encourages me to share what I'm passionate about
* Willing to see doctor and dentist
* Keeps himself clean-ish (nothing wrong with honest sweat, but not eewww grubby)
* If a facial fur lover, will not keep it groomed so short as to cause friction irritation when we have long kissy face sessions, not so long and unkempt as to have a hermit appearance.
* likes a dressy event at least once a year, even if for no reason
* knows that I am totally honest and transparent, and that there is nothing to be jealous of sexually if I visit an old friend or even a previous lover and that if I do, he is more than welcome to come along with me because I would want to share those I love with him & vice versa.
* Does not put off what needs to be done. If it can't or is not reasonable to do it *now*, a plan will be made for addressing it in the future instead of waiting until it has to be done or sweeping it under the rug..
And in an even bigger pipe-dream world I would add:
* Is currently financially secure
* Knows accounting and would jump in to work that aspect of my business for me, even though I can do it
* Is emotionally secure
* Is self-confident, but not cocky
* Has employment in a field he is passionate about
* loves to ballroom dance and will at least on an annual basis
* relatively healthy, physically fit, somewhere near HWP
* is fertile and wants another child with me