Thread: Mono People.
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Old 12-20-2013, 09:54 PM
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Vixtoria Vixtoria is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 306

I guess a lot of it depends on what you mean by going somewhere. Do you look at all your relationships, your friends, your family, and HAVE to know where it will end up?

Both Hubby and BF identify as mono. BF for a long time didn't really mention our relationship too in depth because of deep religious ties with his family and community. Over the last six months that has drastically changed and he's just open now about it all.

We've discussed him dating and marrying and while I've always said I will back off, step aside, whatever is necessary for him to foster the kind of relationship he wants with another woman, he's now of the mind that when he meets a woman he wants to date, if it's meant to get to the point of marriage that I will be accepted as part of his life. As he stated: "and whoever I marry will be ok with you in my life, because she loves me , so she will love my family and friends."

I think we are both more flexible in how things come without this idea that if he dates things will stay EXACTLY THE SAME for the two of us. People change, life changes, relationships change. It's that way for my husband and I too. There are times you are more NRE infused, and times you are more comfortable and content. There are times you want to spend every moment together, and times a little distance is nice. Being honest and up front is the big thing, and knowing that how someone else feels isn't someone else's FAULT. That's what gets us through and will get us through.

I will be part of his life. If it's not always as a lover or a girlfriend then that is fine, but I will be, and he will be part of mine, of ours.

So we see it going somewhere, we see it continuing and growing and changing and just aren't so worried about it fitting into a specific formula to be considered a relationship or successful.
Me: 40 pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 21 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +9 years/former
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