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Old 12-20-2013, 02:14 AM
Monogamish1 Monogamish1 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: wisconsin
Posts: 40
Unhappy Bad mono in poly day and Divorce SUCKS

I was timid in my divorce that finally finalized this past Feb; happens when you fear for your life, and I caved on everything ex wanted - even refusing maintenance when the judge tried for 15 minutes pre-hearing to convince me to ask for it. The house finally closed last month. So when he called last night and demanded we meet to "settle up" from the house, me to pay what I "owed him" and me saying it was a wash with what I spent on repairs, and then ex saying he never approved of repairs... well. I said I would call in a couple weeks. That will give me time to prepare my rebuttal and tell the ex-hubby that if he wants anything more from me he can take me back to divorce court and I will disclose the $10K in precious metals he insisted he keep and not have listed as his assets, and we can both settle what we "think" the other owes out of that & then split the remainder down the middle.

P was here visiting last night. It was nice to have him here when my ex-hubby called. P has seen me upset and reacting to him before, but he had never seen me this upset - so much seething anger that I couldn't even speak. He tried to reach out to stroke my hair to comfort me (I love that), but that was too much input and I pushed his hand away. I told him I would understand if he left, but P chose to stay and just gave me space to process.

After about an hour and dinner of spicy, sausage soup I had calmed and processed enough to suggest we tackle the volunteer work we had scheduled for the evening. Thankfully (?) there is some turmoil coming from the national level of that organization that got us focused and ranting enough for my mind to break from focus on the ex-hubby issue.

He spent the night. Which is very comforting as we are very well matched in how much we love snuggling (and of course the great sex is always a bonus.)

This morning he seemed disappointed when he walked in the kitchen to see me hauling in bags of pellets for the heater and with a puppy dog look in his eyes asked why I hadn't asked him to do it. Frick, it needed to be done, I did it. (I can't rely on anyone but myself TYVM.) Then he went to work and I got ready for work myself.

He had mentioned maybe Sunday/Monday nights for next visit. I said I would accept what time he offers. Except we have a forecast for the first named snowstorm on Sunday, so when I got home messaged and suggested he skip so I don't worry about him driving the half hour up. He replied, "I saw that. I was thinking I might come Saturday and leave Monday. It was just a thought. I have to check schedule." Frick, I survive better on firmer plans. I wish he could just tell me what the plans are when he knows what the plans are, and if they change let me know.

All I know for the holidays is I am going to my mom's on Christmas day for extended family dinner and "stupid gift exchange". My son and his gf will go as well. P has a standing invitation as my FWB that when I tell him of my plans that unless he is told specifically he is not invited that I would like him to be there with me. Yes, my whole family knows of the poly and are respectful of it (or try to be), and they also know he and I are no longer partners but are still friends.

Trying to be numb and not want him.
Failing miserable today.
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