I had an online chat with Kip this afternoon, threw out a hypothetical..
If 2 people are in an open relationship, they have full a disclosure agreement. One partner finds out the other is having other sex partners, is it cheating?
His answers ranged from no, it's an open relationship, to yes, if there is an agreement to disclose.
I asked if he we had a full disclosure agreement. He said yes.
I asked if he would expect me to tell him I have another sex partner, he said yes.
He asked if I had any other partners apart from Prof, I said no.
I asked if he had any other partners or sex encounters, he said no.
I am now entirely clear that I wasn't dreaming up a full disclosure agreement. Not that there was a real doubt anyway, but one wants to be sure. And also clear that he has no problem lying about his activities.
I feel ready to meet and let him lie to my face some more, then tell him I know everything, or at least as much as I read, and that was plenty.
I am done with him. I will maintain some chit chat till I see him again in person, I don't want this to be a phone talk.
On the good news side, ex has finally moved into his new place and will start taking the kids again. I am starting to feel like a shut-in.
Me: 40s female
Prof: 50s male.
Kip: 50s male.