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Old 12-18-2013, 10:50 PM
Spock Spock is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: East Bay California
Posts: 134
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I wanted to throw in my perspective.

I feel like I'm cheating people by spreading myself too thin if I tried to go for 'unlimited' love, because time and space aren't limited.

I only have two or three hours a night to share. 7 lovers in a week would mean, at best, 2 hours each (assuming only a half hour travel each way) and no time to myself.

That would mean 8 to 10 hours a month. If you count sleep, then you get 40 to 50 hours a month. Approximately 3 days a month, approximately 1 month a year.

If you love someone for a lifetime (say 25 years), that's only 2 years of time per person.

Meaning in a 25 year span of time you have about 14 years of time to allocate. The rest would be spent working, cleaning, eating, cooking, etc.

You might be able to cheat if you have a poly household where 3 people spend 18 hours a week together, so each person gets combined 6 years instead together.

My perspective differs because as a parent half my time is already spent with kids. Those are two out of the three relationships I'm currently in, including my wife. If I am lucky I will be alive for another 35 years or so, but a good chunk of that time will be them off to college and making their own lives (and when I of course get some time back too).

If I were to pick up another lover right now it would be no more than a couple hours a week, 5 at most I think.

So you are already involved with two others; I don't know how you can have time to pick up another two. What I can imagine is that the 'rush' of love hormones gives you the energy and optimism to do it, at the expense of your own sleep likely, but that doesn't work forever. I'm approaching my late 30s and my ability to stay up past 11pm is almost nonexistent now.

That aside, I'm glad you and your GF worked it out some and wish you the best. My wife is trying to find others right now, too.
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