Had a good talk with Prof last night.
He said he is still on OKC, has a lot of email buddies and still emails people who describe as poly or open and want to meet and chat. But he is not looking to add another partner, there is the line.
S tried to veto me again over the weekend, a green hair elastic was in the trash. Prof laid down the law and said if she was going to go ballistic over people forgetting stuff then she would not be welcome in his home anymore. Line between deliberately moving in personal items and losing items. Maybe I should get my hair cut short! I have little hair elastics and clips all over the place.
We had lots of discussion about relationships, boundaries, what one partner is entitled to know.
I flat out asked him if he would tell me about one-night stands or hook-ups. He said he wouldn't and wouldn't expect me to tell him. Only if there was some kind of risk or didn't use protection. He said he is not into the hook up thing but if he decided to do it regularly then he would tell me.
I asked how he thought I'd react. He said he thought I would be fine with the occasional liaison but not if he was doing it regularly. And he is quite correct.
He did say that he felt I was not forthcoming about my dating and what was going on in my life. I ask more questions than I answer. Also correct.
On a sweet side note. I did say that ex should be moving this week and start taking the kids for overnights again. He said he would pay for the moving costs if brought back Wednesday sleep-overs sooner. He said he really missed it.
I am having a small Dr's office procedure done tomorrow, he is going to come round and make tea and treats.
I am glad I decided to talk to him about my concerns rather than knee-jerk dump him. Maybe this communication thing works!
Kip, no progress there. Some simple IM chat, I told him about the procedure and that I wouldn't be up for sex for the rest of the week. This gives me till January to decide how to approach him. I think meet and ask questions, same as with Prof and if he denies it, then I will fess up to reading his emails and finish with him. I will probably finish with him anyway. There is no doubt that he has been lying for ages. Even when I ask him directly about dating. He is too busy, blah blah blah. Only got time for wife and me.
Me: mid 40s female
Mr Dom: late 40s male, single
Prof: 50s. we are working on things, single
Jay: early 50s male, divorcing.
Kip: early 50s. former lover, married