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Old 12-17-2013, 07:14 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,475

Told one of my high school friends about me being poly last night. He was surprised, but cool about it. I was vacillating about whether to share or not then just went for it. He told me his brother is in one too. Heh

Feeling out of sorts. Got my period today, so that always makes me more emotional. At least I recognize that it makes me a bit crazy. I am missing M so bad right now. It will be a week since I have seen him. It is nuts to me that I became poly because I couldn't deal with being apart from my husband for that long of a period and wanted company, and now here I am with the same time frame with my boyfriend, every single week it feels like. It is really, really hard for me. It is honestly something that is getting more and more difficult. He told me he wanted to do polyfi and for me to feel like a primary, but I can honestly say as long as there is this gap every week, I will never feel that way. I just feel depressed when I think of our relationship stagnating because of a lack of physical connection. I want it really bad - poly was supposed to be about connection, but my relationship with M seems to just be all about disconnection. Proly tomorrow when I finally see him, I will feel different, but right now I am just feeling down.

That said, I am about to go see my best friend! I haven't seen her in a few months and I am hoping being huggy with her will help my mood. She is so bouncy lately because she is getting a divorce and is dating someone new for the first time in like 20 years. Her enthusiasm should help pull me out of this funk I am in at the moment.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (41M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)
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