Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
So anyway-it's becoming evident to me (and Maca) that the role GG is CHOOSING to take is strictly secondary. It hurts. I've already decided that if that's all he wants-that's what it needs to be and changes have started being put in place, but it's not easy to accept...
...He hasn't become LESS than he was before. But because I thought we both wanted him to be more-I moved forward and well.... he didn't.
THAT hurts enough that its undermining my trust in him.
LR, I'm really empathizing with you right now. Tech and I have only been together a little over three years but I feel as you've said as well.
I also think that, after saying Kitten and I are the same to him and he encouraging me to make some changes when I admitted to feeling the same about him, that he has chosen to step back. He isn't willing to make the same efforts I did to get to the place we had set a goal for. These are actual issues that I've told him I need a response from him on. And truthfully his answers may decide exactly what I do. If a secondary was all he could be to me, he should not have encourage me in making it more. I would have loved him still, but definitely done some things differently.
In regards to your health issues (I'm so sorry btw), I know that Gator and Tech have very different ideas and abilities when it comes to that. Gator is definitely a more nurturing person. Maybe I should say more "openly" nurturing. I had major issues with my blood pressure this past weekend (which postponed our talks) and both of them were there. I've learned to see the things that Tech does that are very subtle. And on this, Gator and Tech seemed to be working together in who was there.
I wouldn't imagine this to be the case for you guys since you've been in each other's lives so long but...it still could be true that GG feels Maca should have the first opportunity to be there for you. I mean, if I understand correctly, Maca is still working through some issues. Ask GG flat out. It's a bit scary, I know. You may not get the answer you would like. I'm prepared for that myself.
I hope you are on the mend soon. About 9 months ago, Gator had some major surgery and had some of the same restrictions you have. He got down or depressed. It's hard to be curtailed when you aren't used to that. But because you are depressed, I would like to suggest you not make a major decision at this time. Hear things GG has to say but think on them for a long enough time that you'll be able to discern if your reaction is clouded by depression or not.