Loving Radiance and Breathesgirl - thanks for the suggestions. As for the terms "my time" "her time" - he hates that too. However, my husband and I work opposite shifts. Unless I stay up way past my bedtime, we would not see each other from Sunday afternoon until Friday afternoon. She has all of that time to see him, text him and talk to him on the phone, when they can arrange it, since I am not around. I don't care what he does when I am at work - that is his time. Weekends are the ONLY us time and family time that we get. That time is very precious to me. I do get territorial during that time and feel that she is intruding when she contacts him. I feel that she is trying to get his mind on her and off of me. That might not be true - but it is what I feel. I feel that there needs to be respect between her and I. I respect the time she gets with him and in turn, I would like the same respect from her. They both see it as no big deal and think that it is me trying to be controlling - not the case. I am trying to work on my feelings by trying to eliminate some of the things that I know trigger them. I need their cooperation and understanding. I hope in time that they can understand where I am coming from and that eventually its not an issue.
I never thought that he might NEED "gush time." It is hard for me to hear what a nice time they had - because I do feel left out. It's hard to hear that they went places that we go, or to a hotel that we pass all the time. I do worry that he is having more fun with her since our life is more complicated due to work, kids, bills, house etc. He did mention a few things yesterday, and honestly, some things bothered me. Not as much as they normally would - so I see that as progress. Its been almost a year since they started dating, and it has taken a long time for me to get where I am.
I am proud of that - but I know I still have a long way to go. After reading a lot of the posts on here, I see that it is possible. Up until now, I have felt alone in this and have had no one to talk to who understands the compexities involved. I am so glad we found this site!