Well, dating marrieds...
This week I got word that my car needs repairs that will cost far more than the vehicle is worth and I should really look for a new one, at a time when my savings are down due to expensive dental work. And my microwave died, and my grown son is pestering me for petty cash.
Then my married GF, L, told me that our weekly date night needed to be Friday instead of Saturday. But I had just signed up for a dance class on Fridays which took the center out of the evening. And she had appointments earlier in the day which precluded an afternoon date. She asked if she should pressure her husband, D, to change plans but I said no, don't push -- you guys are the central pillar, and I don't ever want to disturb that. But I was disappointed.
So out of the blue L calls and says how about seeing her twice this week? D himself suggested she and I have a proper date night on Thursday, and since she still wanted to be out of the house while he had his date, maybe she could come to the dance lesson with me?
So right now on Saturday morning I'm seriously happy: I cooked a nice dinner and we watched a movie on Thursday, then on Friday we ate at a restaurant and danced and had a late evening that ended in a wonderful heart-to-heart pillow talk session.
These people! Their love and generosity overwhelms me. And it confirms my belief in the feedback loop: because the central relationship between L and D makes so much possible for me, it's natural that I want to support it wholeheartedly; and since I strongly support their marriage they seem inclined to be generous in giving me time with L.
I suppose that my "wisdom" (ha!) as an starry-eyed n00b dating a married poly would come down to that: Build it such that everybody can win.
Easier said than done, I suppose. God, I'm lucky.
Last edited by EugenePoet; 04-03-2010 at 07:04 PM.