Originally Posted by kamala
I wonder about your use of "responsibility"... I never thought of it that way. For me, I am in a situation you described (or was - ha) and I think if I love or care for someone, supporting them in stressful times comes naturally and because I want to, not because I'm obliged in any way...
But excuse me if I reading too much into the word....
If the stress and drama comes from the other relationship, I think it's incumbent on me to be present, and supportive, but to basically let them sort it out. If it's a problem in my own relationship I would expect the same. If it's just something else, then the remaining two can support simultaneously, can't they?
If they are both primaries, then it seems to me that neither of them would be filling in the other's gaps, whether commiserating or celebrating
I don't know if responsibility is the word. But I could cry reading your post.
Because YES in my mind they should be simultaneously there for the one they love and it shouldn't be about filling one or the others "gaps".
But how does one explain that?
(fyi-this is not in any way about "my oso did blah or blah please be here for me". It's about outside medical crisis issues and the emotional issues that arise on account of them).
Thank you for responding.