My lightbulb moment came when I realized that my boyfriend was CHOOSING to come home to me each and every time after he was with someone else.
Until I accepted that fact I was miserable each and every time they went & did something together.
It IS me he chooses to come home to whenever he's with someone else. We talk. If I don't want to know what they did I'll simply tell him that. Even when I ask he just tells me generalities.
He knows I have insecurities & he does what he can to help me believe that I AM who he chooses to come home to. The rest is up to me. I have to do what I can FOR ME. I generally find something to do or he'll try to arrange his dates for times when I have something to do any way--things like quality time with my kids, my own date, am at work & he has a day off, you get the idea.