I'm glad that the overnight went all right for you. That is a good step. And although you do have a right to be upset that she was "interfering" with your family time I think a large part of that is the NRE they are feeling. I know I had a hard time not wanting to text or IM Elric all the time when we were first testing the waters. That will pass in time for her and for you.
Getting to know her and maybe even find some bond other than a shared love will probably help with hearing him talk about her. Would you feel this way, not wanting to hear about her all the time, if they were just very good friends?
You are taking very good steps in the right direction, as long as you are also able to talk to your hubby about them as well. Feel free to pat yourself on the back and be a little immodest by telling him how you are very proud and happy of yourself that you have been able to do these things, and what you are trying to overcome next. You might be surprised at how supportive and understanding, and maybe helpful, he might be.