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Old 12-14-2013, 03:08 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,857

There is much here that resonated with me...

for instance:

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
... I desperately need my space (just my personality type, I need looooottttssss of space) and it would be positive for her to build on her friendships so I'm not the only person in her life she can connect with.
and this:

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
...I want to read that "Love Languages" book because we seem to not see eye to eye at times. In the sense that many times I feel I am putting in so much effort to make her feel special, beautiful, happy, and the next day she says "you didn't pay any attention to me last night" :P lots of confusion with that stuff. I don't think I am spacey because people always tell me I'm considerate and caring.
But THIS, really hit the nail on the head for me -

Originally Posted by hellokitty View Post
... life truly is short and what is honestly a good reason you shouldn't let as many people as possible into your heart. ...just opening up and embracing the friendships and relationships you have with any person you find a connection with. Human connection is sooo interesting and beautiful, I just want to explore it. I don't think love and affection can really run out so it should be shared.
This. Yes.

More happy. More love. More caring. More sharing. More joy. More BETTER!

To me...

I'm a planner, I like things to be set out and structured. I care about our future - I plan and save for it...but the truth is that the only moment in time that we are certain of is THIS one...then the next one and the next after they happen. I can plan and scheme and agonize over what the next moment can and will be - but I only get to experience it ONCE.

The most vital and important way that I can experience each of these moments is to LIVE them, as fully as I can...with awareness. Some of these moments are MINE - me sitting with myself (the LOTS of alone time that I need) and some of these moments (some of the best) are SHARED with other people, the more shared they are, the more intimate they are, the more ... enriching they are somehow.

To limit myself to only allowing those "moments" to occur with certain people at certain times under certain circumstances...? Seems to to reign in and constrict my experience of this thing I call my "life" to a degree that I think is detrimental. How can this moment that I share with this person at this time take away from that moment that I share with thatperson at that time? (I'm NOT just talking about sex here, although you could read it that way...I'm talking about all the sharing/talking/touching/caring/feeling moments that we share with our friends/family/loved-ones)...

I'm rambling now and this probably doesn't make much sense...but I have a warm, fuzzy feeling...and am inclined to wander off and cuddle a boy or two...
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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