Great to have both parties to the question on the forum!
"As someone from the outside dating one of them, you have to accept the fact that their family life comes first..."
Yes, that's the way it works for me in dating a married woman. But as Derby implies, situations are fluid. Usually there are complicated scheduling and responsibility aspects which mean that parity is not possible -- and for me, this is in a situation where the marrieds are retired and the singleton is without children or extensive family responsibilities.
I can't really imagine the complications of a full suite of two-households-plus-kids...!
So far the assumption I work under is that the central relationship must be nurtured. As the boyfriend it's not my primary responsibility -- that belongs to the husband and wife -- but it is my responsibility to avoid stressing or undermining it in any way. And to contribute to it in what ways I can.
But RedPepper, you already know this stuff already.
Last edited by EugenePoet; 04-02-2010 at 07:20 PM.