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Old 12-13-2013, 10:28 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 261

Originally Posted by bagofhearts View Post
"Do you have a boy/girlfriend?"
"Are you dating?"
"Are you seeing anyone?"
The first one is the only question I tend to hear at all. I guess it's a cultural thing that makes me think "who would ever ask #2 or #3 instead of just asking #1?"

I just answer yes (or "that's not the word we use, but yes"). If they want more details, then I'm fine with talking about them, even though over half of the time that ends up with them not taking my sitch seriously seeing how far "outside the norm" it is. *shrug*

Originally Posted by bagofhearts View Post
"Do you want to get [re]-married someday?"
"Gawd, no!" Easily can get me into passionate rant mode how I'm convinced society really doesn't need this outdated convention in the 21st century anymore.

Originally Posted by bagofhearts View Post
What do you put on forms or online profiles that ask for marital or relationship status?
Whatever comes closest. It really doesn't happen much except for legal marital status on official forms - and that one is, has always been, and will always be "unmarried" in my case.

Originally Posted by bagofhearts View Post
How do you refer to people when talking outside of trusted and loved ones? At work, for example, I am sure people would be confused if they were aware that I have more than one boyfriend, or have a boyfriend but also go on dates with other people. But these things come up in conversations that start with, "So, do ya have any fun plans for the weekend?" Do you just gloss over it and say things like "My boyfriend and I are going to [whatever] and I'm going out with a friend Saturday night" (when a friend is really a date)? Do you just call everyone your friends? I hate not being completely honest, but it seems discretion may be necessary or preferred, at work, for example.

I understand the point of view that "it's nobody's business" but I feel like if I hide part of my life I am being dishonoring of who I am, as if I'm ashamed or feel there's something wrong with it. On the other hand, I only disclose my bisexuality to appropriate people in appropriate circumstances (none of my coworkers know I am bisexual, for instance) and I do not feel a conflict about that. So maybe I need to lump the polyamory into that category of "tell appropriate people when it's appropriate".
Pretty sure that if I end up in a 'ship with more than one partner, I'd be very open about it. Seeing as I'm exceedingly rarely partner-compatible with anyone, and thus have been shipping only with R. for the last five and a half years, I guess I pass as "apparently mono" in the eyes of casual onlookers. The question is likely more complicated for R. to answer (who did have both serious and casual folks other than me in her life during our time) - and I don't know how she handles it, aside from being open about her ship with me, so I can't answer for her.
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