Originally Posted by SheepMusketeer
If I have sex, I want it to be with people to whom I have formed some kind of attachment and have a personal connection with, and that seems much more unlikely in a swinging sort of scenario.
In my experience, there are many couples and singles in the swinger community that are looking for personal connections. There is an assumption that is made about swingers which is simply not true in reality.
I actually think getting into the swinger community could be advantageous to you as a couple and help him begin to open up to the entire idea of poly.
I have introduced at least a dozen people (men and women) to the idea of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Some people take to it very naturally....others have more difficulty.
The one thing that I have seen turn people around (it works well with guys) is giving them the opportunity to have some spontaneous multi partner sexual experiences. (safe sex of course). You can talk about things for years, but there is nothing like an actual stimulating sexual experience to turn a person around!
In order to help my primary partner move past the initial doubt (which may have never dissipated since he is so emotional), I organized a string of dates with other couples and private house parties with up to 5 couples in attendance.
It is relatively easy for a female to organize these events. It is, however not as easy for a male to do so. I realized that if I was going to wait for him to find his way into the lifestyle- it was never going to happen because he is a shy guy and wouldn't have made anything happen.
We got right through any doubts he might have had and we are now fully committed to a non-monogamous lifestyle!!
In the process, we have met some people that are interested in developing meaningful emotional connections!!