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Old 12-13-2013, 07:35 PM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

"Do you have a boy/girlfriend?"
Yes. But someone who asks this is unlikely to ask:

"Are you dating?"
But if they did, I would say yes and say that I have open relationships. If we get to speak about it, I'll mention that I'm open to having more than one "serious, committed, long term" relationship and we will discuss that. Depending on how they respond to all this, I may mention the p word.

"Are you seeing anyone?"
This is how I usually describe my relationships. I'd say yes and treat it like the "do you have a boyfriend?" question.

"Do you want to get [re]-married someday?"

Perhaps. If we've discussed the fact that I am in an open relationship, they'll usually ask whether I'll still have open relationships when I'm "that serious" with someone. This provides an opportunity to talk about ethical non monogamy from the polyamorous perspective, so I'll drop the p bomb. I'll also acknowledge that as my life changes, the amount of romantic and/or sexual relationships I can maintain will also change. I find that people often think you're being unrealistic to think you could be married, have a young family, a job and still "be poly". I point out that you can but you have to be honest with yourself and others but how many other relationships you can maintain and there may be some periods where you can't.

So, do ya have any fun plans for the weekend?" Do you just gloss over it and say things like "My boyfriend and I are going to [whatever] and I'm going out with a friend Saturday night" (when a friend is really a date)? Do you just call everyone your friends? I hate not being completely honest, but it seems discretion may be necessary or preferred,at work, for example.
I would just say I'm going to a museum with that/a guy I'm seeing.

"tell appropriate people when it's appropriate".
Exactly this.
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