What Do You Tell People?
What do you tell people when they ask questions like:
"Do you have a boy/girlfriend?"
"Are you dating?"
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"Do you want to get [re]-married someday?"
Are you vague or do you tell the truth?
What do you put on forms or online profiles that ask for marital or relationship status?
Everyone and everything assumes everyone is monogamous.
How do you refer to people when talking outside of trusted and loved ones? At work, for example, I am sure people would be confused if they were aware that I have more than one boyfriend, or have a boyfriend but also go on dates with other people. But these things come up in conversations that start with, "So, do ya have any fun plans for the weekend?" Do you just gloss over it and say things like "My boyfriend and I are going to [whatever] and I'm going out with a friend Saturday night" (when a friend is really a date)? Do you just call everyone your friends? I hate not being completely honest, but it seems discretion may be necessary or preferred, at work, for example.
I understand the point of view that "it's nobody's business" but I feel like if I hide part of my life I am being dishonoring of who I am, as if I'm ashamed or feel there's something wrong with it. On the other hand, I only disclose my bisexuality to appropriate people in appropriate circumstances (none of my coworkers know I am bisexual, for instance) and I do not feel a conflict about that. So maybe I need to lump the polyamory into that category of "tell appropriate people when it's appropriate".