First of all, glad your gf has a diagnosis and is having the appropriate surgery, and soon! That is great. Sure, surgery is always worrisome, but I am sure it will go fine. Then she can get on her hormone replacement meds and maybe this will all be a thing of the past? The arthritis could get better?
My gf also has some bad physical challenges, and it does affect her libido, physically and emotionally. This can cause me great frustration because my libido is through the roof.
If you still need to get some sex and intimacy outside the relationship, I'd recommend revamping your dating profiles. I think I've had some success on okc because I am a naturally optimistic positive person. (And I am not a cute young woman-- I am 58 and overweight, but I think I'm pretty anyway! And certain other people seem to think so too.) If your profile is all about, Ohhh, my partner is ill, Ohhhh I need sex so bad, Ohhh whine whine whine, yeah. No, you're not going to get dates. Tell potentials what good things you have to offer. Tell them what fun and yumminess you'll bring to the table.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships