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Old 12-13-2013, 01:16 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,521

Well, B wrote me back and we had a good conversation. He messaged me again last night, near the tail end of my date with A. It doesn't seem that I will be seeing him at all before I head off to NY. I am disappointed, but glad he is keeping in contact. When I get back, we are going to have to have a discussion - I have been really clear about wanting a relationship where I am spending actual face time with my guy, and so far he is failing miserably at providing any. It is difficult because I get the feeling he really wants to see me, but his life is not orderly at the moment. I am not really inclined to wait around for it to shake out, but I am willing to wait for the holidays to pass and then we can take a look at where things are at.

My date with A went ok. This was our second date - there's been a significant gap because of holiday event scheduling and horrid weather. We ended up meeting early - he messaged me saying he was free, so we met at the bar in a BrewHouse restaurant in town at 4:30. He was actually a bit different than I remembered. He didn't look as young to me - his hair was a bit unruly and long, and he hadn't shaved, so his goatee was the same but he had scruff on his cheeks. He was actually very cute and I didn't sit there thinking about how he looked 12 like the previous time. I don't know how those 2 things changed my entire perspective, but they did. I actually liked his hair very much, and a few times I caught myself thinking about running my hands through it and pulling on it. Heh

We were at the bar for a while, and we had really good conversation. He had brought a couple of 2-person board games and we played one called Quattro. It was fun, and it was enjoyable because it was all strategy-based and it showed off how intelligent he was - you could see that right away in the way that he played. I managed to beat him a few times, so I can only hope he thought the same!

We then moved to the restaurant and had dinner. Again, great conversation. We ended up staying until 10:30, and the restaurant closed at 10. Doh! He walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight - twice. It was a little awkward because he is shorter than me (5'6" vs 5'9") and also he was trying to hold it longer than I had expected, and then followed it up with the second as I was pulling back. Lol it wasn't fumbling or terrible, but it was slightly awkward. What I liked afterward was how he had this big boyish grin on his face and both of us were stammering out how we wanted to see each other again soon. I told him that I really appreciated how he had been texting me little things each day, because it really set him apart from other guys on OKC and his smile seemed to split his head in two.

He messaged me after I got home saying he really had a good time, and when I responded favorably, he said that he would have liked to try that kiss again. I would like him to - one thing that I did pick up on - his lips were really soft and there was a TON of passion behind that kiss. It was unexpected.

I didn't feel overwhelming lust or attraction, but I am all goofy thinking about him as I write this. It has been a slow build, which is so very different than I am used to experiencing. I will see him again and would like to see how this continues.

Oh! Wednesday night and Thursday morning with M were absolutely great. We weren't intimate, but we snuggled lots and had really good discussions. He told me that he likes talking stuff through with me. Gosh, I love him lots! I am going to have difficulties not seeing him until next Wednesday, but well, NY.

I am going to call the doctor this morning and make an appointment for STD testing in early January. I am going nuts not having had penetrative sex with anyone since I was intimate with B. My husband said he would be ok with it, but I don't want to risk passing anything to him. I really believe I am clean, but still.

Tonight I am going to an 80s themed party hosted by a friend. My husband has choral practice, B has his son, and of course I can't even ask M. I am thinking about messaging A and see if he would be interested in going as my date. I would also be ok with going alone, but it would be nice to have someone with me. I am excited about my outfit - I have flowered leggings, leg warmers, a big hair bow and a grey sweatshirt that I am going to cut the collar out of later today.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, Central Hub in a Y shape (38F)
Wife to DarkKnight (40M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Girlfriend to WarMan (40M) - Monkey is his long time friend

Last edited by Bluebird; 12-13-2013 at 01:20 PM.
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