Thank you both very much for the welcome and the information about the boards! And thank you Kevin for this:
From what you're saying things have only "been poly" for a few months, whereas it can take a few years at least. I don't mean to discourage you, I just mean that you need not think you're doing something wrong if your feelings don't settle right away.
One of my stumbling blocks (in my whole life and not just in this) has been to worry about whether I'm doing things right, so it helps a lot if I can hear from time to time that what I'm experiencing is normal, or at least, not unexpected!
Also, I don't want to fall into the trap of spending too much time catastrophising and focusing on the difficult stuff. One of the great boons in this has been the lovely experience of falling in love with Astraeus all over again. He really is an extraordinary soul, and I'm not at all surprised that another woman has fallen in love with him! Hearing about all the things Daedalea appreciates about him has made me appreciate them too.