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Old 12-13-2013, 06:17 AM
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Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post

It seems to me that sex is the great big elephant in the room that neither of you wants to mention out loud. Even if nothing can be done to fix it, I wonder if talking about it wouldn't be healthier because then at least you could express your feelings to each other about it. The unspoken has a way of growing and growing until it explodes.

Kevin T.
Honesty is a great policy, but sadly, reality doesn't always reward it. People who are chronically ill can, at times, have difficulty dealing with yet another burden. Being reminded that their partner has sexual needs which are going unmet can make the ill partner feel pressured, guilty, sad, and even more hopeless. They don't choose to be ill, they don't wan't to be ill, but it is out of their control. A reminder that their partner's sexual choices are also out of their control can be overwhelming. They can become depressed, or angry, or overly apologetic; all natural responses but ones which put an equally unfair burden on the healthy person.

Being in an open relationship, which should in theory give freedom, can in reality be almost worthless if by taking action you unintentionally rub your partner's nose in the fact that you have a freedom they do not, and that they can't truly feel happiness about.

Or in other words, that elephant in the room can crush both people if things go badly, and words are said which can't be forgotten.

Just some more thoughts, from my own experiences.
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