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Old 12-12-2013, 06:11 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,201

Personally, I don't like the idea of putting any of what was said to the OP in writing and sending it anywhere. This, to me, is something to be said verbally, either face-to-face or on the phone. Basically, most of what Tigergirl wrote in her initial post is sufficient, IMHO.

Tigergirl, you call or visit your bf and say, "Ugh, something just happened the other night that really disturbed me and I don't know quite how to tell you. I was confronted by X and asked questions about you and [Metamour], and then was told some awful things about her, which I found absolutely shocking. X asked me how close I am with [Metamour] and wanted to know if I ever heard her make anti-Semitic comments because apparently she recently did that in a group of people and they are very offended by that. They also want to know if you are aware of it and seemed to imply that, if you are, they will no longer be inviting you to the [Event].

Now Hon, I don't know if any of what they said is true, and maybe she was just misunderstood at the time, but I feel like they put me in an awkward position and I couldn't not tell you about it. I'm not trying to start trouble, especially since I wasn't there when it supposedly happened, but I am concerned that this sort of thing is going around and people are forming an opinion about you because of it. This upsets me and I don't even know what else to say. What should we do?"

That's all. That isn't so hard.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 12-12-2013 at 06:18 AM.
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