You mentioned you are in therapy; what has your therapist suggested so far? Has he/she suggested anything as far as how you might find people you can date with?
I'm concerned about your sweetie's health issues and chronic pain per se. What are the options as far as treatment is concerned? No one should have to be in pain all the time (and just "deal with it").
So, what have you tried as far as looking for dates is concerned? For example have you tried
- swing clubs,
- local poly groups (not cruising them for dates but just attending and hey, a platonic friendship with someone new could blossom into romance later on),
- alternative clubs/events like Renaissance fairs, goth culture, sci-fi conventions, indie music, BDSM groups, etc.,
- mainstream clubs/events that do something you like to do (bowling, cooking, hiking, rock climbers, collectors, history buffs, support groups, or what have you),
Sorry you're going through this stuff.
Hope we can help.