Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
I'd sum it up like this, I think -- some people who go the marriage-and-kids route choose to make their nuclear family their whole life (not counting work or family-of-origin). That's ok! Some other people choose to make time to have a life outside of their nuclear family. That can include other friends, hobbies, classes, exercise, games, social events, or any number of things.
I think we can all agree that any working mom or dad who also works it out with their nuclear family such that they can go to a class for one night every other week, or go out with friends for coffee on occasional weekend afternoons, or whatever, is not therefore a bad partner/parent. Well, just substitute out "date" for any of the activities I've been describing above and bam, non-monogamy (and possibly poly if feelings are involved).
Fabulous description Annabel! That's exactly how it works in my family. There is no appreciable difference to my toddler and preschooler between one parent being out for a meeting and that same parent being out for a date.
I cannot put my life on hold for 20 years until the kids are grown. That will just make us all miserable. My kids deserve a contented mother, and poly makes me happy, so here we are!