Originally Posted by KatTails
I just don't know how to ease the jealousy, fear, envy, insecurity and anger that I feel. Sometimes it is overwhelming.
Well - don't fret. Pretty normal (at first). Al least you have gotten past the sex roadblock via your swinging and with this new person. For some that's a major hurdle to clear.
How to "ease" these feelings is by truly understanding them. A big part of "understanding" is realizing that we were "taught" otherwise. It's all part of the big story we were told about "love" - particularly romantic (if you like that term).
But love is love. We have an abundance of it and the more we give away the more it multiplies and comes back to us.
But look at the interesting part - at how easily you embraced the sex part - which IS limited ! Logically it would be that much easier to put love in it's proper perspective.
Sounds like you and your husband are solid, caring people. Sharing that with someone else you care about just makes it that much more special.
Jealousy, as you say, is a fear response. As Vandalin suggested - see if you can determine WHAT it is you are truly afraid of ? Odds are it's a baseless fear rooted in breaking out of the old model. Nothing more. We're always afraid of the unknown.
Insecurity - if you really are an insecure person in general you need to fix that anyway. Dealing with this may help.
Anger ? Likely at yourself
You're fine. Breath deep. Be excited.