Yeah, I know.
Lots of guys aren't into daily contact, so those are the guys that I don't date. I am clear up front what I am looking for in a relationship, and to me, I need that contact. B knows this - especially since we had a discussion about the fact that he disappeared for an entire week without a single word as to why. He didn't owe me anything at that point - hell, we had one date - but it was disconcerting that it happened. He was adamant that he did still want to see me and made an effort to show me he was wanting to continue.
B told me he wants a girlfriend that he can see more than once a week, but so far his work schedule seems to be impeding that goal. I also want more than once a week - it's a requirement for me at this point - so if he isn't going to be able to make time, then I am going to have to step back and reevaluate.
That sounds harsh, but being poly with M has really brought my needs and desires into focus for me. I want someone I can see frequently. If they can't give me what I need, then I absolutely do not want to get emotionally invested in them, period. It is just too difficult.
One thing that I like about A is that we have never had this conversation, yet he has maintained the daily contact. It isn't pages and pages of emails, but it is short, sweet texts that let me know he was thinking of me, for whatever reason. That has kept him fresh in my mind - right now he's hitting all my triggers that are relationship-related and coming out looking awesome.
Right now, I am not ready to write off B. If he messages me in the next couple of days and we set up a date, great. He isn't going to get a bunch of pouts and complaints from me. We aren't committed to each other and he is free to communicate or not. But I am certainly taking notice of what he is/isn't providing and how my emotional state is because of that. Right now, he has me disappointed, because I didn't hear from him (not angry or upset). I am also anxious because it is a flag for me that maybe he is going to disappear again, but I am not anxious to the point where I am crying in bed or anything. lol Maybe anxious is the wrong word? Aware? Alert?
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, Central Hub in a Y shape (38F)
Wife to DarkKnight (40M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Girlfriend to WarMan (40M) - Monkey is his long time friend